i dreamt this

incredibly sad and slightly scary but mostly full of kanashii feels and all that.
wtf i dont think i typed it well to show my feelings but. i was so pulled in, so compelled.

if people read this... you must think i am some hardcore otaku BUT NO I AM NOT OK. the last time i dreamt of anime was probably sec 2 HAHAHAH.

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Sakura and Syaoran from cardcaptor sakura, they were finished with their missions

I supposed it was their adventures

I hear something calling out to them ‘give my life back

Then I see a glowing wall. It was bright yellow, glowing yellow too. Almost golden, like the sun. They started glowing bright yellow. There were holes in that wall. They jumped behind the wall. I could see sakura in one hole and Syaoran in another. Syaoran was further away.

Then I saw their yellow silhouettes shrink and I see Tsubasa Tokyo revelation’s sakura behind, asleep, maybe dead. She’s wearing the dark dress in TTR, all bloodied, but face so peaceful, so alseep. The yellow ccs sakura shrunk into a card… or was it an arm? After the shrinking I saw a real arm, not glowing, the arm of ttr sakura. It was sleeved in a dark material lie her dress. It went into the body of ttr sakura, just like how feathers go in her chest. The hole was too small so I couldn’t see if ttr sakura had her arm or not. I looked to syaoran’s hole, now I see syaoran from ttr. I didn’t see what happened to him.

Now chibi ccs sakura and syaoran were kept in a timeless dome. It wasn’t nearly a dome, cause wherever they walked, the couldn’t  get to where the dome touches the ground. It was almost like a small planet with a trapped atmosphere. Sometimes the dome would be far away until they couldn’t almost see it’s gleam, sometimes it would be just above their heads.

The ttr pair was visiting them. Seeing them. I think God allowed them to. They had life now. They were dressed in what they wore in TRC episode one, perhaps from before the wings scenario. The thin ceiling just above their chibi heads, they both look up to the other pair. TRC sakura smiles sweetly at the small pair from where they lean over. They are standing in their world (of sand dunes and old ruins) and they look like they are leaning over a counter/a balcony/the edge of a lake to see the ccs pair. Syaoran cannot see anything, God only allowed Sakura to see. Syaoran looks down with a puzzled expression, like sakura said ‘mitte, mitte!/look at that!”

I see the side view of the entire scene, two looking down at two looking up. The ccs pair, sakura can see, syaoran.. I think he could too. They were holding a container/vase of flowers. One of them says ‘it’s been a looong time since i/we got roses/flowers’ and I was sure they said it ina tone where… they seem to be telling them, get us roses. Like, pity us, get us some.

Now I’m facing The trc sakura, with switched points of view. She heard it & smiled. Syaoran didn’t hear a thing. It’s like the pair is looking down AT me. And now I suddenly fly up wards, behind the first pair, and I am in front of another pair of sakura and syaoran in trc. They are in different clothes. Sakura smiles the same again and syaoran gives an indifferent gaze. I zoom again to another pair, upwards. It’s like the higher I go, the further the dome is away from the trc counter at which they lean over from. At the third pair… Sakura smiles a little lesser. All the pairs seem to zoom past me, I only see the moment at which the ccs pair talks about roses and sakura reacts. Gradually, her smile becomes dimmer and dimmer. It isn’t as wide, it isn’t as bright. It becomes sadder. Like she suddenly understands what’s going on and why they always say this line. I stop at the level where sakura and syaoran are dressed like in the chess episode, where sakura is the ‘queen’ I think. At that level, sakura tips over the edge to see. She hears, and then she curls up to herself, screams after exhaling ‘MINAI! MINAI! MINAI!!!!!!!!!!!!’ which means ‘don’t see’, but technically it should have been ‘mitakunai’ which is I don’t want to see. I think she screamed MINAI and MITAKUNAI together alternatively. This part was terribly tragic. She screams to herself while curled up in a chair, hands to her ears, head facing her knees, syaoran, fye, and kuro all rush a little bit to her until suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes from beside the edge. It struck in line with Sakura’s screaming. It was as if her own powers struck a bolt as she screamed MINAI. The lightning bolt struck from that level all the way down. It travelled past every cloud-like level, I don’t know if the other level sakuras saw. Sakura’s screaming can still be heard, from miles down.

It struck the CCS pair. Faint screaming in the background. One of them vanished into thick black ash and slight smoke. I think it was Syaoran. CCS sakura looked shocked, scared, she didn’t look to her side, she didn’t move, but she knew her syaoran was gone. I think she weeps. I can’t remember

The scene changes to her house, CCS sakura’s house, the one god made for all ccs cast. Syaoran is no longer there. Sakura does solitary things for a long while.

I’m not sure when, but one day I see the house littered with dead bodies. She has pets. I saw a baby reindeer, a cartoon reindeer. I remember this clearly, two dead, dark bodies infront of a flashing tv, and this cartoon baby reindeer sat/lied in between the bodies with a pouting expression, the word ‘hunched’ written on it’s back like how a sketchy comic strip would have.

The scene changes to me, trying to play video games, 2 player, by myself. I don’t know who I am, sakura, or syaoran. Syaoran died, so Sakura? I really don’t know. I set the colours kind of weirdly. The controllers had green pink and blue buttons? I think? We were playing jankenpon by colour. Around that point in timem halfway playing, a thought struck to me, whoever loses, dies. And I was both players. I could make it draw…. But

I cant remember myself finishing the game. It switches to a TV cooking show. Two people side by side challenging each other. Who can make the better food I think.  They finished making and I saw one guy, he made this sushi fried rice + sand which. Sushi atop fried rice that looked like it was in a sandwich form? The mc smells it jokingly, trying to entice the audience. The standard Japanese audience laughs. It ends.

It just ends like that.

The screaming, the lightning, the death, the fact that sakura got more morbid as the episodes went, I want to know. This didn’t really happen, did it? And why was the screaming sakura from the episode where they did chess? Why that episode? I remember that episode to be where sakura actually makes a decision to separate from her friends. I don’t remember why

I have to know. I have to watch t again.

20 July 2012 , Friday morning 10:24 AM – incredulous saga dream about TRC.

Maybe it’s because cedric and I talked about anime on the bus, we didn’t talk about trc though.

Maybe it cause in jap class yester yesterday, we talk about anime

Maybe cause I’m sleeping with hair chalk.

Maybe cause I crashed straight away last night after Campus Crusade and God talk last night.

Maybe it’s because I keep reading creepy stories.

Although sakura’s scream wasn’t creepy, it was so sad, so full of pain, like she’s been through a lot. She understands the meaning behind the ccs pair’s line and bursts at the thought of it. I don’t understand what it means. Maybe death, maybe pity. Maybe trc sakura was overwhelmed with pity or guilt or something she went nuts. I don’t know, really.