lazycrazy

Do some of you guys think of me as a secret weapon?

I'm not famous but maybe i'm powerful and influential and all that shit but my hit-range is only to those few who are close to me so like

i'm amazing but only to some???


where is my logic?????



i realize my interest range spans quite far! to pencil graphite art to victorian dressing.....
how can i not though?

anyway i'm drawing something now
i stuck 4 sheets of A3 paper together and outlined megan fox. i shaded some but i have very little self confidence in t his cause my proportions are off

i cant tolerate un-proportionate things coming from my hands because it's just under my standard. but 4xA3 is very hard to get your proportions smack down..

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT I GET MY PROPORTIONS DONE SO EASILY. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT I ONE-SHOT CAN GET MY PROPORTIONS RIGHT, DONT HAVE TO REDO UNLIKE SOME OTHERS. SOME PEOPLE SAY I PUT IN LESS EFFORT THAN OTHERS BECAUSE I DIDN'T REDO MY WORK.


BITCH. PLEASE. I SPENT 9 YEARS OF MY LIFE DRAWING AND EFFORTING MY DAYS AWAY ON PAPER TRYING AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN TO GET THIS BODY ACTUALLY IN HUMANOID SHAPE. THE FUCKING BITCH THAT THINKS IT'S IN MY BLOOD, THINKS THAT I SPENT NO EFFORT TO GET THIS SKILL OR "TALENT"  IS ONE FUCKING RETARD

YOU'RE BLIND AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR MY STORY. 9 YEARS IS HALF MY LIFE.
NEXT YEAR, IT WILL BE 10 YEARS. NEXT YEAR I WILL BE 18. THATS MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE


AND THAT AINT STOPPING ME!!!!!!!

I SPENT MY CHILDHOOD DRAWING
I'LL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM FUCKING HIGH BECAUSE I CAN'T GET MEGAN'S NOSE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! >:(((<<<<<




BY THE WAY
LIKE HONESTLY
MY KEYBOARD IS BLACK FROM CHARCOAL




NO HONESTLY
THIS PERSON I'M TALKING ABOUT
IS ONE OF MY LECTURERS
that gave me her feedback like she's just throwing bread to fishes.

no mang no. you're throwing a fucking mealworm into a shark's nose.
U GON GET BIT




EDIT:
Do you guys know?  Sometimes, i really hate myself. I hate my art, i hate my hands, i hate my brain, i hate by eyes, i hate my memory.

Look at this. This is so ugly.

it's mirrored by the way. can you just LOOK at how ugly it is right now?

-nose too small
-lips slanted and too small
-right brow too curved
-neck not softened right enough

and the rest aren't even DONE to criticize. my god. i always hate showing people half drawn/ in the process kinda stuff. because everyone will have stuff to criticize on. this is too high this is too big this should be darker FUCK YOU ALL MAN. i'm not even done, i haven't even got to the touch-up-part and what, i'm supposed to touch up everything in ONE SECOND when you are stating the ugly?

And because of how all this criticism has gotten to me since i started drawing, at a tender tender tender young age i'd say, i criticise myself badly

so badly that i force myself NOT to stop drawing halfway. i know that in the half way stage, everything looks ugly, nothing is done or finished, no part is perfect. it's hideous. i never return to hideous work. i usually never get into the same mood enough to continue it

i trash it

i've trashed so many
ugh