Being flung straight into the retail world, with nothing to guide me but vague instructions, no doubt i'd be scared. Fearful. Unable to take a step forward for fear I do something wrong, or waste time.
It's only Day 4 and the strands have tangled in my mind. It's a mess inside. When i ask for help, when i ask a question in hope of it's answer clearing some doubts, it doesn't. It simply plants another strand into my mess, and i'm just left with more things to worry and think about. I was so strung up i didn't know what to do or how to help myself. Tried my best.
Lucky I got to talk to Manda about it on the way home from school. Talking about every single detail helped so much. It was like pulling a strand out, explaining to her what it's about, then putting it to one side. It's much clearer in my mind now. I was thinking too far into things, too deep into things. Trying to assume the role as a leader when I myself need some leading. I feel like if I don't try to help lead, nothing will get done and we won't get anywhere. It doesn't help how we only got 3 people, I keep worrying about lack of manpower, so i think one person should put in 140% so we can be on par with the other groups.
When I dropped all my baggage the moment I reached home, my shoulders ached like mad. Why? I wasn't even carrying my laptop or wearing a backpack. Was it the stress
I'm stressing myself out i'm trying to do many things. I'm trying to do as many things as I can, as fast as I can, when I have such a foggy mind and I'm not sure what exactly I have to do and how I have to do it.
I have to fill my empty brain and learn as fast as I can. I will cry in Week 3, i bet.
This is gonna be fun!!!!
Edit: I'm damn fucken glad I got friends like Manda and Nat, they're so supportive I'm gna die
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